Dennis Jernigan once said, “I don’t want to be God. His job is too hard!” (Apologies for a bit of a misquote.) I know his words are light, but look to the deeper meaning as related to caregiving.
Have you ever found yourself trying to be God for your loved one? Trying to anticipate and meet all their needs, while avoiding all injury or pain? Then if something goes wrong, you feel like it’s your fault? Have you found yourself worrying you don’t spend enough time with them, and then worrying you are neglecting other friends and loved ones, or other work? It’s easy to slip into this destructive pattern. Been there and done that. Even bought the T-shirt. And it frustrates me to no end.
Jesus said His yoke is easy and His burden is light (Matthew 11:30). He carries his part of the load, and we carry ours. We are only to do what He says. Co-laborers with Christ. We were never meant to lift the whole thing or to bear both sides of that yoke! That’s what I mean by trying to be God for someone else.
I’ve seen too many people, mostly women, who try to be God for their spouse, their kids, even their friends and strangers in need. It can’t be done. Only God Himself can meet all the needs. You can’t . . .don’t even go there. It’s real easy to slip into the habit, and really hard to get out. Caregiving can certainly amplify this tendency.
Unfortunately, putting the loved one into God’s hands sounds good, but is also hard. It takes practice, lots of practice, and more practice. Oh, and don’t forget faith and trust. Why? What can we do?
If I had all the answers, I really would be God!
illustration courtesy of free digital photos.com