Getting Rid of Shame

October 23, 2014

We’ve been talking a lot about shame in the last few posts. There’s a good reason for that—it’s the most common result of abuse, and one of the most damaging.

Since shame is a feeling of “I am something wrong” while guilt is the feeling of “I’ve done something wrong”, shame permeates our very soul. We feel as though we can’t get past it, can’t over it, or can’t get rid of it. We wear our dishonor like a coat.

Talk about an impossible situation!

Au contraire, my friend! Shame comes from the lies we believe about ourselves. Lies that are planted and perpetuated by our enemy who doesn’t want us to live the full and victorious lives God created for us.

Getting rid of shame is imperative for healing. However, all the positive self-talk in the world can’t remove it. We can bury it (kind of) and we can ignore it (for a little while) but we can’t get rid of it. The only one who can do that is Jesus.

Jesus declared that He is our Healer. He also said that healing belongs to His children. Don’t you qualify? Of course, you do. Once you turn yourself over to Him, you are an heir to all His promises.

ALL OF THEM.

EVERY ONE.

Ready? Let’s get started.

First, ask Jesus to reveal what lie you believe about yourself. That could be lots of different things. Let’s use this common one: I am too bad for Jesus to ever love me.

Now ask Him where that lie started. (This can get a little scary, so do this with a strong friend if you want to.) He might say the lie started when your father said he didn’t love you. We all put our own fathers in the place of God when we’re little, so this lie gets changed to God not loving us.

Next, ask Jesus what the truth is. And that isn’t the truth you think about, it’s the truth He tells you. We can have the entire Bible memorized, but until He speaks to our heart that knowledge stays in our head.

Wait for the answer. It may be in a second or two, or it may be the next day. Don’t think He is refusing to answer you. He won’t. His truth might be something along the lines of “I loved you then and I love you now.”

When His truth reaches your heart, you are probably ready to release the shame to Him. Tell Him. Then do it. And anytime you are picking it up again, put it back into His hands. His hope replaces your shame.

Keep your eyes and your heart turned to Him.

Shame is not who you are!

This is part 19 of a series on abuse recovery

Part 1| Am I Alone in my Pain?