Can We Actually “Lose” Control?

“I just lost it.”

“She suddenly went out of control!”

“What happened? He just snapped!”end of my rope

These are things you always hear after something tragic happens. I remember the Columbine High School shootings fifteen years ago. Questions flew for days and weeks afterward. Everybody wanted to know how a couple of seemingly normal teenaged boys could suddenly go on a murder spree.

Further information proved that spree wasn’t so sudden after all. There had been signs: Violent drawings in journals, plans for placement of bombs, lists of intended victims.

And then fingers started pointing. Who was to blame for the mayhem? Was it the parents or teachers? The students who bullied them? Society? Violent video games?

Those questions arise after every such incident. People simply aren’t supposed to have murderous hatred pushing them to kill others and themselves. It scares us.

Who actually holds the blame for these actions? The person who took the action. The ready to fight

All the other sources of pain and shame are contributors, but everyone is responsible for his or her own actions. Every sane person is in control of their own responses.

And everyone is born with a moral compass. The Bible (Romans 1:18-20) says that creation tells us of the Creator, and that we are without excuse. We have the control.

What about people who say, “I lost all control. I’m sorry, but it wasn’t my fault”? Excuse me – whose fault was it? You had the choice over your actions. You chose to act out of your emotional state, whether or not it hurt someone else or yourself. The choice may have been split-second, but it was still yours. You were in control.

Have you heard or said, “I just couldn’t take it anymore.” Again, a choice point. And the choice was made to give control over to the emotional state of rage or lust or whatever was attacking.

Have you been abused? Experienced rape? Been beaten or bullied? Those are horrible things, and, yes, I’ve had my share. Ever raged at God over what happened to you? I have. And I’ve asked Him why such things happened to me and others.

It’s all about free will and control. Perpetrators choose to act according to their own lust, which is the opposite of love. In a nutshell, lust is wanting something for yourself at the expense of others, and love is wanting the best for others even at your own expense. John 3:16 says that God so loved the world that He gave His only Son (Jesus). He acted from pure love. He chose to do so. He was in control of His actions.control button

I believe that wherever we have not offered a portion of our lives to God, our control is shaky. Those unsurrendered areas (finances, the future, our spouse, our kids, or any other aspect of our lives) are where God’s love doesn’t have free reign. Those areas war with our redeemed spirits. And we are unable to control them according to His guidance because we are trying to do it in our own strength.

We are in control. Until we transfer it to something else.

this is part 3 of a series on authority

Part 1| Hey, Who’s in Charge Here?

Part 2|Total Control or No Control?


all illustrations courtesy of