Grief and Death

cemetaryDeath. . . .The final curtain. . . . The last roundup.


Our society has invented multiple terms to remove the sting of talking about physical death. It’s considered the ultimate loss. And the loss of a loved one can be admittedly profoundly painful. It leaves a hole in your heart that had once been occupied by that person.

But remember how many other types of death exist. There’s no way to list all the types of death we experience in a world filled with sin:

  • Good old Adam and Eve really got it rolling when they ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. The first death: the loss of innocence.
  • After that, they suffered the consequences of their unlawful actions: the loss/death of spiritual life, or separation from God.peace sinking into ocean
  • Then they were kicked out of Eden: the loss of safety and peace.
  • Followed by aging and loss of health. Then physical death. And, just to make things really exciting, Cain killed his brother Abel: another loss of innocence and of physical life.

Just as all these losses caused grief, all our losses cause grief in varying degrees. What can we do to deal with our grief?

crying womanThe first thing that people think of is weeping and mourning. These are quite appropriate. Expressing the grief helps us to focus on our feelings and on the source of grief. Without emotional expression we tend to feel an unfocused deep sadness and are unable to get past it.

It’s often good to express anger. If you lost your innocence to abuse, anger is natural. If you take it to God and tell Him how mad you are, He can handle it. But don’t stop there. Ask Him to show you how He feels about it. And keep asking until you get an answer. He identifies with our pain.

Begin to look for good in the loss. I know what you’re thinking: how could there be any good in abuse or neglect? There isn’t, but there is good in realizing that Jesus got you through it. You might not have survived had He not helped you. You certainly wouldn’t be feeling His love unless He gave that, too. And it’s good you remember what happened and how you felt so you can help others overcome their pasts like you did.

So, express your grief and associated emotions. Ask God to show you His heart. Allow Him to heal you, and look for evidence of it.dove of peace rising

Believe it or not, when you are steeped in His love and the realization of what He did for you, you will realize the depth of His caring according to Romans 8:28– And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

Do you love God? Are you called according to His purpose? Then allow Him to take your painful past and incorporate it into something good.

He wants to do it. He waits for your permission.

This is part 7 of a series on grief

Part 1|Are You Living With Grief?

Part 2|Time Heals Grief?

Part 3| I Deserve My Grief!

Part 4| How Can You Miss What You Never Had?

Part 5| Grief and Anger

Part 6| Grief and Lies

 all illustrations courtesy of