Little by Little, With Some Giant Steps Thrown In

Have you learned how to trust God in everything?

Yeah, neither have I.

However, I am grateful for those experiences (see my “About” page and “In God We Trust?“) that helped develop what trust I do have. These events of the 1990’s laid the foundation for the biggest trust-developing episode of my life.

Sometimes we learn to trust God out of desperation. We have nowhere else to turn.

awkward balancing act

My life collapsed in July 1999 when I developed severe vocal cord dysfunction. The muscles that surrounded my vocal cords went into tight spasms and I literally couldn’t breathe. It usually happened at night. It was unpredictable. I was alone and terrified as death loomed in the dark.

I was diagnosed with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and a dissociative disorder, the result of childhood trauma from a masonic group. The memories were buried but God allowed them to start “leaking” when I was in my forties. He guided my life through the confusion, bringing me knowledgeable counselors and nurturing friends. Many memories were brought to the surface, enough to prove that this was real and that I wasn’t crazy. His healing truth overcame the lies I’d believed.

The process was long and hard, but the more He healed me, the deeper my trust grew. 

Near the end of the healing journey, I felt God calling me to write and minister. After over twenty-two years practicing medicine as a physician assistant, I was rapidly burning out. I decided on early retirement, but was forced out nearly a year before I’d planned. Fear gripped me; how could I trust God if He let this happen? I think He understood, but He didn’t cut me any slack. No way around it—I had to learn to trust Him even more.

Friends again supported me, though I had to humble myself and ask for that support. (That was tough.)

God raised my gaze. He led me away from the fear and toward my destiny.

I wish I could say I now trust Him without question in all things, but I still struggle to trust Him in certain areas. There’s always more to learn.

So, how do we learn to trust God? Little by little, with some giant steps thrown in.

It’s not a blind leap.

  • We get acquainted with Him, learning His ways and His heart. We don’t generally trust people until we spend time getting to know them. It’s the same with God.
  • We look for evidence of His care. A parking spot that opened up suddenly? That’s a God gift.
  • We open our hearts and we test Him. He doesn’t mind our honest questions. In fact, Psalm 51:6 (NKJV) says, “Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts, and in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.” Ask your honest questions and listen for the answers. They may not be what you expected (He is God, after all). But He offers wisdom and He gives it girl in meadow


Especially if you are willing to learn to trust Him.


Part 6 of a 6 part series on trust

Part 1| Relationship Reliability: Who Do You Trust?

Part 2| Why Did I Ever Trust You?

Part 3| Number One, Looking Out for Same

Part 4| Third Party Trust

Part 5| In God We Trust?

Part 6| Little by Little




illustrations courtesy of