This Sucks!
Sunday, February 19, 2023 by C. F. Sherrow

Apologies for using slightly vulgar language for my title today. My mom said this several days ago, when she was trying to walk but her legs wouldn’t seem to hold her up. Such frustration and anger!

I can understand the feeling . . . her body has been faithful and strong all these years, and now it’s not.
She wants to do things she used to do. She hates being even semi-dependent on me (or anyone else). And she hates having therapists come to the house. 

Sometimes I find myself just wanting to tell her to get over it. Of course, I wouldn’t, but I get frustrated, too. This strong woman who was raised on a farm through the depression, who worked in a poultry processing plant during World War II, who raised four kids (2 biological and 2 step) to successful adulthood, who only went through eighth grade due to being out in the country but got her GED and AA on her own when I was a teen, who always encouraged me to follow my dreams and to be independent, now has to curtail her activities due to not only age-related weakness, but two strokes last year. She tries so hard to make her body follow commands, but it doesn’t always work.

Thank God she has no paralysis, but the weakness can be scary in itself. She fell a couple days ago – as I watched, horrified – and had to be transported to the emergency department for evaluation. Those circumstances emphasized my own dependence on others. (Not liking that, but thankful they are as near as a phone call.)

So, we both have some loss of independence. Both of us lived alone for years before she moved into my house. That means she faces loss of mobility, loss of her own possessions and her own house, and loss of freedom to make all her own choices. I face a loss of spontaneity, and of independent living, and the loss of a lot of time. 

It’s an adjustment shared.  And though I strongly feel God led me to offer my home to her, it isn’t easy.

Love may not conquer all, but it is a beautiful and Godly motivator.

Remember what Jesus said: the most important commandment is to love God, and the second most important is to love others.

That’s what it’s all about.

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