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We have learned about what forgiveness isn’t. We know it’s not forgetting, or denying what happened, or excusing the perpetrator, or being a doormat. 

Now let’s discuss some truths about forgiveness:

Simply put, forgiving is allowing God, the only true judge, to do His job. You were never given the authority to do that, and for good reason. Think about it. How much does it hurt the other person for you to judge him? Not much. How much does it hurt you to judge him? Plenty.

Have you ever heard, “Not forgiving someone is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die?” Like many old sayings, this one is simple but true. Holding onto your anger destroys you from the inside.

Physically, unforgiveness can lead to illness beyond an acid stomach and tension headache. Struggling to keep your rage buried is exhausting, causing the body to produce toxins that bathe the organs in a damaging stew. The human body is unable to function properly for long in such a toxic environment.

Emotionally, unforgiveness can easily lead to depression or anxiety. You look at the world through a dark filter. Long-held anger can erupt as unfocused and misdirected fury. Refusing to forgive may manifest as bitterness which can ultimately cause separation from your loved ones.

Spiritually, unforgiveness separates you from God. The anger and guilt stops you from approaching Him. I also think it makes Him very sad when He sees us try to forgive through our own efforts and fail miserably. When we judge ourselves for that failure, His heart hurts for us.

God asks us to forgive others just as Christ, our example, forgave His executioners. Forgiving releases us from the perpetrator. But we don’t have the power within us to forgive. We have to choose to forgive and we have to utilize God’s strength to do it. This is true whether we are in physical proximity to the person or if it all occurs in the spiritual and emotional realms.