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Part five from Strengthen Yourself in the Lord by Bill Johnson

In chapter 4, The Personal Breakthrough Moment, Johnson reminisces about his time as a young and inexperienced pastor. It’s hard to believe this man of faith ever wrestled with the fog of confusion and depression, but he admits it.

He states that he enjoyed reading about great evangelists and pioneers of the faith, such as Charles Finney, Rees Howells, or John G. Lake. However, he got into trouble when he began comparing himself and his ministry results with them. Of course, this contrast led his thoughts toward darkness and self-judgement. Would his reputation ever catch up to theirs? Would God reject him? Was His love true?

Any guesses as to what became Johnson’s personal breakthrough moment? Praise and thanksgiving!

Johnson began pursuing the depths of praise as delineated by David. Contrary to his self-defined “quiet and reserved” personality, he began dancing, shouting, leaping, and clapping in praise to God in private praise sessions. It was tough at first, definitely uncomfortable, but pretty soon his actions became instinctual. He realized he was celebrating a good God who was worth the celebration!

I spent most of my life hiding, holding back from being who God created me to be. I’d been told by my perpetrators (freemasons) that if I ever revealed what they were doing, I would die. That even God couldn’t save me, and indeed that He could never love me. (See My Personal Holocaust).

But God and a couple of fantastic counselors reached into my darkness and drew me out. Slowly, praise rose up in me. And over the years, I have learned how to praise my God in dark times.

And praise dispels the darkness.