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Several years ago, someone pointed to me as an example of integrity—“the same on the outside as on the inside.” More recently, a good friend gave a copy of my book, My Personal Holocaust, to a mutual acquaintance. When he asked what she thought, her response was something like, “But she always seemed so normal!”

Of course, when she knew me, I had not yet uncovered my abusive past or the dissociative disorder that grew out of it. I knew my memory was full of holes, but I had no idea why. I didn’t even realize that wasn’t a common experience.

So yes—at the time, it looked as though my inner and outer lives matched. My inner world appeared “normal” to anyone casually observing.

But what is normal? How many of us carry hidden struggles we acknowledge only to ourselves? We want to fit in, to appear steady, to avoid making waves. We want to be accepted. It’s a normal (pardon the wordplay) desire.

Imagine if we all acted according to what actually happens inside us. Would your actions be calm or chaotic? Would you display deep-seated peace or barely contained turmoil?

When we actively seek God and allow Him to reshape us, inner peace begins to grow. And when inner peace grows, our outer actions naturally follow.

Of course, none of us escapes turmoil. We live in a world saturated with anger, anxiety, and frustration. The real test of our inner peace shows up in our reactions to life’s disruptions. When the disciples panicked during the storm and accused the sleeping Jesus of not caring, their fear revealed a lack of inner steadiness. He named their panic for what it was: a lack of faith.

“Build yourself up in your most holy faith” isn’t merely a phrase. It’s a call to actively order your private, inner world.